Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Just got to say...
This isn't some NIN fangirl blog and I don't want it to be, but I have to express this somewhere other than on Twitter where I'm limited to a tiny little 140 character box.
Watching the live tweeting from Henry Fonda tonight has made me very emotional. I was supposed to see the last two shows in L.A. but because of the rescheduling I cannot. Tonight had all the special guests: Gary Numan, Eric Avery, Greg Puciato, Mike Garson and Danny Lohner..."Atmosphere", "Anthrax"...songs these goddamn little teenybopper kids don't even know. It's not even over with yet and they're on the second encore. FML.
Someone said I was luckier than most. At least I got to see them. This is true. I got to see them in the smallest venue. This is also true. Though I also think of the people that have seen them more times than they can count; this gives me a sense of loss. I can count my NIN shows on a single hand, which is why I made such a concerted effort to make the last L.A. ones. As pathetic as it seems at my age, this has been my singular motivation and mission since July.
I honestly want to cry. I think I have a headache because I'm supressing that urge. I wanted this so badly. I worked so hard to network. It would have worked out for me except for that damn NINFLUENZA! Wasn't meant to be, I guess.
Part of me is thinking...call in sick...charge the flight to L.A...go wait in line...try to get that Wiltern ticket back...but I can't do it. Sucks. I really want this...and I can't have it. Someone please cue "Something I Can Never Have" now. K? Thanks.
Oh! Now they're playing TDTWWA. Close enough. Gut me. Please.