Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Just got to say...

This isn't some NIN fangirl blog and I don't want it to be, but I have to express this somewhere other than on Twitter where I'm limited to a tiny little 140 character box.

Watching the live tweeting from Henry Fonda tonight has made me very emotional. I was supposed to see the last two shows in L.A. but because of the rescheduling I cannot. Tonight had
all the special guests: Gary Numan, Eric Avery, Greg Puciato
, Mike Garson and Danny Lohner..."Atmosphere", "Anthrax"...songs these goddamn little teenybopper kids don't even know. It's not even over with yet and they're on the second encore. FML.

Someone said I was luckier than most. At least I got to see them. This is true. I got to see them in the smallest venue. This is also true. Though I also think of the people that have seen them more times than they can count; this gives me a sense of loss. I can count my NIN shows on a single hand, which is why I made such a concerted effort to make the last L.A. ones. As pathetic as it seems at my age, this has been my singular motivation and mission since July.

I honestly want to cry. I think I have a headache because I'm supressing that urge. I wanted this so badly. I worked so hard to network. It would have worked out for me except for that damn NINFLUENZA! Wasn't meant to be, I guess.

Part of me is thinking...call in sick...charge the flight to L.A...go wait in line...try to get that Wiltern ticket back...but I can't do it. Sucks. I really want this...and I can't have it. Someone please cue "Something I Can Never Have" now. K? Thanks.

Oh! Now they're playing TDTWWA. Close enough. Gut me. Please.

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